To the husband dealing with the depressed wife

          I know you see me. I know I am not myself. Some days I feel on top of the world, all smiles and happy-go-lucky. Other days I can't even get out of bed. I see you hurt for me. I know you feel so helpless. But please believe your existence alone helps to pull me through. 
          It's a long, tiresome road. You come in from working a 10 hour shift in the heat to a dirty house, wild kids, and a wife who barely wants to speak. Dinner isn't made. Moods are very low. And I see you hurt. Honestly, it kills me inside. I wish you could understand. I want to be the happy wife. I want to be that girl that wakes up in the morning and climbs out of bed ready to face the world with a smile! But I'm not. Some days, I can't even be bothered to wash my hair. 
          I hope you know this isn't your fault. This battle I fight every day is bigger than you. It's bigger than us. I can go days, sometimes weeks, without a dark cloud passing my mind. But, when it does hit me, it's a storm I have no control over. The waves of emotion pass over me. It feels like there is no end in sight. 
          I hope you know, even when I don't say it, you help. What more can you do for someone who honestly doesn't want to be alone but also can't stand the sight of people? I feel your love for me. I feel our kid's love for me. But deep down, I feel sub-par. I don't feel like I'm being the best mother I can be. And there are days when I feel like you yourself would be better without me. 
          Please reassure me on these days that isn't true. Please help me understand that I am a good woman. I'm a good mother. I AM good enough. And for the love of God, please make me wash my hair! I will fight with you. I will tell you I don't have the energy to move. Please make me. Go start my shower and force me into the bathroom and MAKE ME! I will love you for it in the end.
          Monsters are real. They are evil and mean. They take hold of something and claim it for their own and they will fight to the death if they really want it. And sometimes, those monsters live inside of us. My heart belongs to you but, my mind belongs to the monsters. Thank you for not forcing me to fight this battle alone. Please, don't give up on me.

-Chaos